In episode 18 “Parents and Youth Suicide, Part III- Info for Parents of Young Adults” we discuss common questions that parents have about youth suicide. Suicide is the second leading cause of death among teenagers. In addition, the rate of suicide among teens has increased 47% in the past 20 years. Teen suicide attempts and deaths are at all time highs. Yet, parents tend to underestimate the risk of suicide by their own teenager. This dismissal of the risk can happen even after a teen has made a previous suicide attempt.
Not My Child
If your teen has talked about suicide or perhaps posted something about it on social media, you will probably ask “What does this mean?” They may tell you that they weren’t serious, “Don’t worry about me.” You may be tempted to think that it is only “attention-seeking” (i.e. they aren’t serious about dying). Maybe your teen even went to a psychiatric hospital after making a suicide threat or attempt. To be discharged from such a facility they can no longer endorse thoughts of suicide. “I learned my lesson!” Of course, what any parent wants to hear in this situation is that the risk is abated.
Be aware, though, that the danger hasn’t gone away. The biggest single predictor of who will make a suicide attempt is a history of a previous attempt. The best indicator of who will die by suicide is the method utilized. Suicide attempts by firearms are 85-90% fatal. If your teen used a less lethal method (e.g. overdose by pills), they may have survived, but a second attempt with a more lethal means is likely to be mortal. And, as we have noted, a person who survived the first attempt is at greater risk for trying again. Remember, virtually every parent of a teen who dies by a suicide attempt believed that it wouldn’t happen to their teen.
Hope is not a strategy
According to the Journal of the American Medical Association-Psychiatry, the risk of suicide after discharge from a psychiatric hospital remains quite high. Their research indicates that the risk of suicide within three months of discharge from a psychiatric program is 15 times greater than the national suicide rate. So, you and your teen are not out of the woods even after they have received treatment for suicidal thoughts. Your young person should continue to see a mental health professional even if they say they are “fine” now. Don’t be lulled into complacency by your teen’s reassurances. Seeing a counselor should not be optional. Be on the lookout for further signs of suicidal thoughts such as:
- Jokes about suicide or death
- Social media posts about suicide
- Use of alcohol or drugs, especially when:
- The teen is under age 15
- There are repeated instances of drug/alcohol use
- Internet searches about death or suicide
- Big changes in school performance
- Cutting or other self-harm behavior
- Severe and/or repeated emotional distress
- Getting into trouble with the law
- Withdrawal from friends or favorite activities
- Running away from home
You don’t have to be a suicide prevention expert to help your teen, just like you don’t have to remember how to do geometry to encourage your child to do well in school. In the case of academics, you must monitor their school progress, make sure that they turn in their homework, and consult with the teacher if they need extra instruction. Similarly, when it comes to suicide, you need to monitor your teen’s behavior, check on their mood, and notice if something seems amiss. You also need to be willing to ask for consultation, in this case from a mental health professional.
In Closing…
Don’t tell yourself that your teen would never make a suicide attempt, is just seeking attention, or has learned their lesson. Instead, recognize when your son or daughter is in distress. Be willing to ask for help from a mental health professional if you see warning signs of your teen being in trouble. Understand that a history of suicide attempts puts them at a much greater risk of another and more fatal attempt.