As a psychologist, I have seen the suffering and heartache that results from suicide. After a suicide there is plenty of anguish. Almost everyone who knew the person who died will feel some degree of guilt. Suicide creates long-lasting hurt, a pain that can go on for decades. But if you’ve never lost someone to suicide or struggled with thoughts of killing yourself, you may be asking, “What’s suicide got to do with me?”
It is extremely common to blame the person who took their life. You will hear statements like, “They took the easy way out.” Or, “They chose a permanent solution for a temporary problem.” People will wonder, “How could they do that to their family?!” Others will condemn the deceased and often categorize the behavior as “crazy,” “selfish,” or “weak.”
In this week’s episode, we discuss, “Is There a Cure for Suicide?” We know that suicide is extremely common. (One of the 10 leading causes for death in the US and the second most common cause of death for people 10-34.) We also know that suicide is preventable. This lead us to wonder if it’s really fair to blame a desperate person for taking their life? Or do we as a society have some responsibility to one another to try and do more to prevent suicide?
What’s Society Got to Do with It?
Each of us stands to benefit from a societal shift in the perception of suicide. Think about it this way, if we ever fell on hard times that might make us suicidal, we would have a greater safety net if more people understood suicide. If we view suicide as something that we can do more to stop, then we would value helping people know the warning signs of suicide. We’d promote initiatives on how to talk about and ask about suicidal thoughts. We’d focus on removing the stigma around seeking help for mental health. Just as we train people to “See something? Say Something,” we’d educate: “Feel something is off? Ask someone what’s up.”
As a nation we claim to value preventing death. We educate people on why they shouldn’t smoke, how it’s important to buckle up, the need for a healthy diet, etc. If we’re serious about preventing death, than we need to include suicide prevention under that umbrella. We need to value teaching people how to spot someone who is suicidal and how to talk about when someone has died by suicide.
When we blame someone who is suicidal or label them as “crazy,” we create an obstacle for the next person down the line to seek care before it’s too late.
We all can help through simple actions like:
- Reaching out when someone has gone through a tough/potentially triggering event
- Refusing to engage in cyberbullying
- Asking someone whom we are worried about if they are suicidal
- Locking up our firearms to prevent someone from impulsively taking their life
Research has found that connecting with people who are contemplating killing themselves dramatically reduces the likelihood that they will take their lives. Research also demonstrates that if you remove the person’s planned means for suicide (e.g. by hiding the gun), it is unlikely they will employ another method to end their life.
In Closing…
Suicide and the subsequent suffering it causes to those who are left behind can usually be prevented. To do so, though, we must change our idea that suicide is just one person’s problem. The drowning person cannot always safe themselves. That’s why we employ lifeguards. We can all be lifeguards against suicide through simple actions like connection, not ignoring warning signs, and removing available means of suicide.