In Episode 25: “Breakups & Suicide” we explore the connections between the end of a romantic relationship and suicide. Unfortunately, breakups are a common trigger for suicide. It doesn’t matter who you are, male or female, gay or straight–breakups are universally challenging.
Women Are Often More Social
People enter relationships for many different reasons. Research suggests that women particularly seek relationships for emotional intimacy and deep sharing of feelings. Furthermore, women are more likely than men to see emotional intimacy as a prerequisite to sexual intimacy. When women go through a breakup, though, they typically have many other meaningful friendships and networks to fall back on. This is true for most women whether they are in same-sex or heterosexual relationships. In general, women have a larger group of social connections than do men. If their primary relationship ends, women are somewhat emotionally cushioned by their typically larger social network. Of course, the ending of a primary relationship is still hard, and women overall are more likely than men to make a suicide attempt when distressed. When women do make such an attempt, though, those attempts are usually made with less lethal means (e.g., overdosing on pills). Women are therefore less likely to die from such an attempt. Women who are relatively socially isolated and who have access to firearms stand a greater risk of death by suicide in general.
Men Can Be More Isolated
In contrast to women, men tend to put more of their “emotional eggs in one basket.” Men are less likely to confide in others, especially other men, about the difficulties of their lives. In general, men are less comfortable being emotionally vulnerable. When they share emotional intimacy, it is typically with just one person. For heterosexual men, that is usually a woman, and for gay men, more likely a man. Research suggests that men separate sexual intimacy more from emotional intimacy than do women, and this seems to be true of both heterosexual and gay men. But men, too, need a place for emotional security. Men tend to focus on one relationship to fulfill this emotional need, often their romantic partner. Thus, the loss of that significant other may isolate men more than women. For those men who are particularly distressed after a breakup or divorce, suicide attempts are often more lethal. This is primarily because men are much more likely to utilize firearms if they make a suicide attempt. Suicide attempts with a gun are usually fatal. Indeed, while women attempt suicide much more often than do men, men are twice as likely as women to actually die by suicide.
In Closing….
The breakup of a relationship is one of the most common reasons for people making a suicide attempt. If a relationship ends, women usually have important emotional connections. On the other hand, women, when emotionally distressed, are more likely to consider suicide or make a suicide attempt. Men, however, may have few, if any, other close emotional bonds. If a man makes a suicide attempt post-relationship breakup, it is more likely to be fatal. A breakup can become a life-threatening situation for both men and women.