On “What’s the Ramp?” we described what we refer to as the “The Ramp” into the “Valley of Suicide”. The first stage of “The Ramp” is characterized by Passive Suicidal Thoughts. What distinguishes this stage is that the person is considering that death may be preferable to the life they are experiencing.
You may hear:
- “I sometimes think it would be easier if I didn’t wake up.”
- “I wish I could sleep forever.”
- “Death doesn’t seem so bad.”
- “I don’t care if I live or die.”
You may see:
- Signs of withdrawal/ isolation
- Increased use of substances
- A person who is deeply discouraged
What it means:
If you or someone you care about has thoughts like these, this is a strong indication that you/they are overwhelmed and need help and support. Thoughts of suicide are often triggered by an event or series of events. A person at this stage of “The Ramp” doesn’t want to die so much as they want their situation to get better. However, they don’t know how things could be improved, OR if improvement is even possible.
What to do:
Ask the person directly- “Do you want to die? Or do you want your situation to be better?”
If the answer is some form of “I want my life to be better,” you may be able to offer practical suggestions or some kind of direct help. Your efforts can serve as an opening for someone who may be in danger. You may also want to ask if there was some sort of a triggering incident(s) that brought them to this point of desperation:
- A break up?
- Loss of a job?
- Other difficulty?
If you personally don’t know how to help, then try to connect them with someone with more expertise who might be of assistance. Would they be willing to talk to a counselor? Would they call the National Suicide Prevention Lifeline?
What NOT to do:
- Tell them you will “be there” for them. Instead, offer to do something.
- Wait for them to contact you. Instead, contact them.
REMEMBER: Feeling alone and isolated often prompts the person to go further down “The Ramp”.
In closing…
Passive suicidal thoughts are an indicator that some things need to change. Fortunately, these thoughts can usually be overcome by talking with a mental health professional, reconnecting with friends and family, or, sometimes, even by reading a self-help book. What is most important is that you not ignore these thoughts. Instead, work towards making positive, meaningful changes. If you or someone you care about has moved from passive suicidal thoughts to making a plan, you can find out more info in this post: “Stage 2 of “The Ramp” : Plans for Suicide”.