In a previous blog post we described what we refer to as the “The Ramp” to the “Valley of Suicide”. In this post we’ll discuss what happens and what to do when a person moves from “passive thoughts of suicide” to making plans to end their life.
If you’ve asked, “Have you ever thought about suicide?” to a troubled friend or family member, and the answer was something like, “Sometimes...”, “Yes” , or “Maybe…Kinda” .
The next question needs to be, “Have you given any thought to how you would do it?”
The person may describe a general or vague idea about taking their life. Such statements (e.g.“Well, I guess I could jump off a bridge.”) can be ominous and concerning. You might be tempted to dismiss this thinking it’s not serious or maybe you just do not know how to respond. Or they might shrug it off or down play just how concerning it is.
The more the plans for suicide are:
- Specific
- Likely to be lethal
- Feasible (i.e. something that could realistically occur)
- Meant to be implemented soon (i.e. imminent)
The greater the risk. But the key thing is that you don’t have to figure out the risk all by yourself. At this point you need to ask for the opinion of others.
A good next step is to ask-
“Do you have some intention of acting on these ideas?” (i.e. the plan they described).
Often, the response you hear will be something like, “No, but I sometimes think about…”
- Hurting myself
- That things would be better if I were dead.
- Maybe I should do it (i.e. implement that plan–shoot myself, take pills)
- Killing myself
If on the other hand, the person is even more explicit about killing themselves
- If the threat is imminent, call 911
- Consider calling or texting the National Suicide Prevention Lifeline 1-800-TALK (8255) for immediate help
- Go on to read our next blog “Imminent Threats”
In closing…
Making a plan for suicide is NOT NORMAL and must be taken seriously. Don’t assume that the person wouldn’t actually act on those plans. Action is needed. If someone you care about has indicated they have a plan, encourage them to seek help.