Every January 1st many Americans make resolutions about how we are going to be different in the coming year. We plan to exercise more, eat more carefully, stay in touch with our family better, etc. If you’ve listened to episode 22: “New Year…Now What?,” you’ve heard a lot of our advice on this subject. One of the more common resolutions is to drink less alcohol. Maybe you don’t think you are an alcoholic, but perhaps you recognize you are drinking more than you should. Who needs those extra calories you may ask? Or maybe you’re tired of just feeling hungover the next day. Yet, as with many resolutions, our willpower to drink less may go out the window before the end of the first month. Drinking less can become really difficult when you hang out with your friends, have a stressful week, or go to a party. Since excessive alcohol consumption is related to suicidal thoughts and actions, we are going to discuss some of the reasons that we find it hard to stick with this particular resolution.
Drinking Less for Others
If a major motivation for drinking less comes from others, such as your romantic partner, it is much more likely that you will give up on the goal as it grows more difficult to maintain. Make no mistake, deciding to drink less will be challenging even if at first it seems pretty easy. Most people who have resolved to drink less find social situations where others are drinking difficult to navigate. How will you handle it if your partner, the one who said you ought to cut back, continues to drink themselves? If you get mad or frustrated at your partner, the one who wanted you to drink less, will you chuck the goal that they set for you? A better plan is for you to decide if YOU want to drink less. Don’t put it on somebody else. Decide for yourself. You are far more likely to be successful if it is your goal.
All or Nothing
Many of us set goals that are all or nothing (e.g. never drink again). Small successes are then not counted, while any step short of perfection is seen as abject failure. It may be that you should completely quit drinking, but you could try first to moderate your use of alcohol. Set a goal that is lower than what you normally drink (e.g. no more than 3 drinks a day). Then each day record the number of drinks you have. If you find that you exceed your self-established limit pretty often, you may need further assistance, perhaps from a mental health professional with expertise on substance use. If, on the other hand, you are able to consistently drink within the limit you set, you have demonstrated control over your use of alcohol, and you reap the benefits (fewer calories, less hangovers, safer living). Make sure that if you are counting drinks, you understand what is a “standard drink”: A 12 oz. beer is equivalent to 5 oz. of wine is equivalent to 1.5 ounces (a jigger) of hard liquor. Can you set a limit for yourself and maintain it?
Comparisons
If you resolve to drink less, it is best not to compare your drinking to that of others. In fact, your friends or associates may be drinking too much themselves. What others do is their concern, not yours. Your focus should be on what YOU want to do differently. Think about your reasons for wanting to drink less, irrespective of what others do. Otherwise, you are apt to give up on the goal you set for yourself.
Negotiating
Some people try to negotiate goals about drinking less. For example, they may try to switch beverages (e.g. drinking only beer or wine, no more hard stuff). This strategy is likely to be self-defeating. No matter what alcoholic beverage you use, you can still drink too much. After all, there are plenty of people who get drunk on beer or wine.
In Closing….
If you make a resolution to drink less alcohol, make sure that you are cutting back because you want to make changes, not because you want to please someone else. Keep in mind that changing habits is hard work, and you may encounter setbacks. If you do have a setback, don’t use it as an excuse for giving up on your goals altogether. Instead, refocus on your strategies for change. Don’t let the habits of others determine what you want to achieve for yourself. Finally, superficial changes like switching from bourbon to beer don’t usually work because you can still find yourself drinking too much.