In Episode 45: You Say You Want a Resolution?, we discuss the old tradition of making a change in the new year. “I resolve to…quit smoking, lose weight, be a better person, etc.”. As we all know it is much easier to make resolutions than to keep them. One of the resolutions that you may have made at some point or another is to do more to help others. It is often said that helping others is a good way to help yourself. Sounds like a good idea, BUT is there any science to back this claim?
Improving Your Mood
You may be interested to know that there is quite a lot of research to support the idea that being kind and giving to others makes you feel better yourself. Helping others leads to better self-esteem, reduced stress, and improved mood. For more on this check out the research of Dr. Oliver Scott Curry’s, Director of Kindlab https://kindness.org/kindlab.
You might want to also listen to his Tedx Talk: How to Be Good.
Improving Your Connections
When you help others you also improve your interpersonal connections. This may occur between you and the people you help, but you may also become closer to your fellow helpers. Many bonds of friendship are forged around working together on a joint project. It is well known that First Responders, the military, and disaster response teams often form close bonds as the result of their working together under difficult circumstances. As we frequently point out in this podcast, being connected to others is one of the best ways to prevent suicides. People who take their lives commonly experience a sense of isolation and the feeling that they no longer matter to others. Helping others is a tangible way of proving that you (and they) matter. It also establishes a sense of community and connectedness, antidotes to suicidal thoughts.
Spending Money Wisely
It also turns out that charitable giving leads to greater happiness. In contrast, spending on yourself does not. We all have had the experience of buying something new, only later to have buyer’s remorse. (This is especially true if you are making payments on your new, now old, thing.) You may enjoy that new smartphone, but pretty soon it will be your old smartphone and will no longer be a boost to your mood. The same can be said about new cars, new clothes, and new jewelry.
Charitable giving, in this sense, is not limited to formal donations to a registered organization. Rather, it includes any use of your resources intended to benefit someone else. So buying something for a friend, a family member, or a stranger all count. Furthermore, the research shows that the benefit of giving is not related to the amount of the gift, but to the act of giving itself. If you have never done so, try buying a meal or even a cup of coffee for a stranger and notice how you feel afterwards. Hint: For an even better result, do it secretly.
In Conclusion…
In the new year it is customary for us to make resolutions to do better in the coming year. One of the resolutions that many of us make is to be a more giving and kind person. The research on happiness shows that those of us who are more generous givers, who reach out to help others more, and who engage in acts of kindness are indeed more happy. Any of us can resolve to do better in this regard. Furthermore, by improving our mood and enhancing our connections with others, we reduce the risk of suicide for both ourselves and them.