In Episode 44: Avoid Harmful Therapy, we discuss that working with a therapist who is a bad fit for you can be problematic. The wrong fit in therapy can lead to further psychological harm and be re-traumatizing. Between 5 and 10% of people report that their therapy experience made things worse. On the other hand, that means that for most people, therapy is helpful. In fact, about 75% of the time, a person’s mental health symptoms improve in therapy when compared to those who do not seek help.
Like with starting a new medication, there are some potential risks involved. Think of the ads you see for a new medication on TV. “Side effects may include…” Usually the things on the list of symptoms are not issues you want. Usually, you are told to contact your doctor if you begin to have certain side effects as they could reflect an unexpected and serious condition associated with the treatment. Similarly, you should pay attention to your reactions to psychotherapeutic treatment, especially if they seem serious or persistent. How can you recognize if your therapy experience is not being helpful or is potentially harmful?
VeryWellMind.com offers these tips:
8 Signs of a Bad Therapist: When You Should Move On
- Your Therapist Is Unreliable.
- Your Therapist Is Unethical.
- Your Therapist Is Judgmental.
- Your Therapist Is a Bigot.
- Your Therapist Just Doesn’t Get You.
- Your Therapist Can’t Help You.
- Your Therapist Is Pushy.
- Your Therapist Is Too Passive.
You should feel comfortable talking with a therapist. Just like you might avoid discussing a problem with a hyper-judgmental friend, a therapist who does not seem engaged with you or who just doesn’t understand you, is probably not going to be a great fit in the long run. Here’s a little bit more on this subject, written by a fellow counselor.
And here’s a little more on what it feels like to work with a bad therapist from a client’s point of view
In conclusion…
Don’t ignore your gut. If you’re working with a therapist, and you’re walking away from your sessions feeling like your needs have been ignored, dismissed, or you’ve been harshly judged, it’s probably time to look for a new therapist. The issues that come up in therapy can sometimes be painful, but talking with the therapist themselves should not be difficult. Therapy is highly effective when you’re working with someone who gets you. Don’t give up on the process, but perhaps it’s time to find a better fit in therapy.